Typically we think of art as poetry, painting, or creating music, so how can allowing be an art? Here is one definition; “A skill at doing a specified thing, typically one acquired through practice: the art of conversation.”
To allow someone to be just as they are, doing what they do without controlling them is most definitely an art. It takes practice, dedication, and a fight of the ego not to have things your way. In fact letting people simply be is one of the most difficult things to accomplish. A tough art to master.
We all have our opinions and we like the way we do things. Without realizing, we may put our opinions on others. For example; a friend lets her boss walk all over her, something you would never put up with, it frustrates you to see this happening to her. You mean well so you begin to give your opinion why she should speak up and be more confident. Why not just let her have her experience? Why the need to step in? Of course sometimes our friend comes to us for advice, and we gladly give it. This would be ok if we were to let it go right there. Unfortunately what ends up happening is we get too caught up in the situation. Why is she still letting her boss walk over her we muse. In fact it may bother you so much you begin to talk with your other friends about her. “Why can’t she be stronger?” “Why can’t she just take my advice, after all she asked for it?
Now our energy is all wrapped up in a problem that is not ours. Just like we control our children to be like so and so, and put our desires onto our spouse, we lose site that the one and only life we can do anything about is simply, our own.
Try it this week. Heck try it for a day; Let go of the judging, opinions. critiques. Let whoever you are with, just be.
They are who they are.
You can like it, you can hate it, but you can’t change it, don’t even try.
Maybe by allowing another to be, you may delight in catching a glimpse of someone you never knew to be there. You never know until you try.
Small Change #16
The art of allowing others to be who they are.